The Carnegie Formula for Relational Success

September 4, 2012
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In the Dale Carnegie classic from 1936, How to win Friends and Influence People, there is a very interesting chapter in the middle of the book. In Part Three, How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking, Chapter 8 discusses “A Formula that will Work Wonders for You.” In it is a gold mine of advice for dealing with others.

As we all know, people are often set in their ways. In business, it could mean that they think and they believe they are right on an issue or idea. Mr. Carnegie’s very simple formula is to put yourself in their place. It could sharply increase the strength of your interpersonal relationships and better your skill in dealing with others.

It is essential that you consider that the other person’s feelings are as important as your own. That though will integrate a sense of cooperativeness in every single conversation you are involved in.

Having tact with others is a constant concern. It is about being considered equal and it is about courtesy.

Before we ask someone to buy something or contribute to a cause or project, take a second and close both eyes. You know the other’s point of view. Now it is something to consider. If you want results, and have a little less stress, focus on commonality.

When reading the classic textbook that made Dale Carnegie, it is essential to remember just one thing: “an increased tendency to think always in terms of the other person’s point of view… (this) might easily prove to be one of the stepping stones of your career.”

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