To Have a Friend Be a Friend

November 9, 2011

You have seen it before – someone asks for help from someone else, and the response is “You didn’t help me when I needed help, so why should I help you?”  It‘s a common reaction.  If you don’t show someone else the effort in being a friend, you will not get it in return.

In other words, you have to learn some people skills.  Building friendships starts with the smallest of details and grows over time.  So the important thing is to know where to start.

Of course, a friendship always starts with an introduction.  That is the easy part.  An exchange of names, a handshake, and a smile are given.  However, it is in your actions at this point that can set a tone for a friendship or the lack of one.  Making friends in New Jersey is just like anywhere else – each person wants to be treated with respect and sincerity.

As you are shaking that person’s hand, is your smile genuine or are you just going through the motions?  You have to remember that you are giving a first impression to that other person.  Show genuine interest in him or her.  People are emotional creatures, and we love when someone lavishes attention on us.

Focus on that other person, and strike up a conversation.  Be sure to make the conversation about them, and not about you.  Ask them questions about things that interest them.  For example, you could ask what they do for a living, what area they live in, or if they have a family. Not only are you making the other person the center of your attention, but you are also learning more about this person.

In building relationships, it is important to understand another person’s wants and needs and what is important to them in their lives.  So this initial conversation is not a one-time method of making a friend.  It will be repeated each time you see that individual, allowing your friendship to continue to grow over time as you learn more about each other.

The main thing is to be honest and sincere in your interaction with the other person.  He or she can feel right away whether you are being honest or fake.  Be yourself, be friendly, and build the friendship on trust and integrity.  Not only will you be making friends, but you will also be adding strength to the relationship.

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